Monday was Heather's birthday. The big 2-9. So Jaissa thought it would be a good idea if we brought some snacks and a cake in on Tuesday to help her celebrate. We would have done it Monday on her ACTUAL birthday but Mondays in a call center are busy. So Jaissa said she would bring the cake, Susan said she would bring in a veggie/dip tray and I said I would bring in one of those cheese/meat/cracker trays.
I drove to Market Basket after work with that intention and found myself completely fucking lost once I got there and realized that they didn't have any pre-made trays. What the FUCK was I going to do now!? Now looking back, the logical decision would have been to buy some crackers, buy some cheese, buy some salami/pepperoni whatever and make up a dish. But all I could think was...I don't even have a serving dish!?
So as I'm going through the aisles thinking of what to do, I pass by the meat section and there in their perfectly wrapped packaging was pre-made meatballs. Not cooked, no, but totally seasoned and in perfect little balls. So I decided...well! How about spaghetti and meatballs!? It would be a lunch for the whole team to enjoy at work tomorrow! More than just a snack.
So I go home and as I'm placing the meatballs in all their perfectness on my baking tray I realize that wouldn't it be better if I slow cooked them? In the slow cooker that has been collecting dust in my kitchen for at least a year? What better time to break it out than RIGHT NOW at 6pm on a Monday night when the slow cooker recipe said it would take 6-8 hours to cook.
So I began chopping...fresh garlic, fresh peppers, I had 3 different varieties of sauce and tomato paste (I don't know what tomato paste is but I threw it in there too). I tossed all 24 meatballs into the recipe that called for 12 and set the timer on the slow cooker to 7 1/2 hours.
When I woke up the next morning my house smelled so delicious. I could tell, however, before I even opened the lid on the slow cooker that I may as well have cooked ten piles of shit for lunch. That is the equivalent to what it actually looked like when I opened up the lid. A big pile of burnt shit. I mean burnt.
Confession #1: I can't cook. But I make a mean Kraft mac and cheese.
I started thinking to myself...really Tiffani? You couldn't have just bought a serving dish? Really? Chopped up a little cheese and salami? Instead you spent like 30 bucks on meatballs because they were already in balls and were made with imported cheeses?....and then you thought all night about how you didn't have a serving tray for that either? And how were you going to make it from the parking lot to the office with a 50 pound slow cooker full of meatballs and spaghetti along with your purse and lunchbox?
Nothing made sense about any of it. Needless to say the slow cooker has been soaking ever since. I'm peeling the layers of burnt shit off and then letting it soak some more. Tonight I found a recipe for ground turkey soup. It's currently simmering on the stove....
